Read about how—during yoga training at the ashram—one of Amrita Yoga instructors experienced a deep inner transformation that helped her overcome a longstanding fear of public speaking. Hers is one of many examples how Amrita Yoga goes beyond physical asana practice and improves mental and spiritual wellbeing.
Author: Team Amrita Yoga, Amritapuri based on the responses of the Amrita Yoga Instructor.
Amrita Yoga: How has meeting Amma changed your life?
Being in Amma’s presence always renders countless realizations, miracles, lessons and transformations.
There is one memorable incident that occurred while I was attending the Amrita Yoga Training in Amritapuri. I had always struggled with a deep, and painful karmic wound of which I had made a concerted effort to heal, to overcome. Since early childhood I experienced a sheer terror of speaking in public. When activated it had a paralyzing and often debilitating effect. My nature is to be in the background. Added to this an overly sensitive awareness, and a history of trauma. It was while attempting to teach the students that this wound was painfully revealed. While teaching I lost the complete ability to think, speak, move; I completely fell apart. Shattered, humiliated, and embarrassed I immediately sought refuge and solace by the sea. Always, in these times, nature soothes me, always my sanctum sanctorum.
While headed towards this safe haven, I encountered a sea of people. It was lunch hour at darshan hall. I psychically shrouded myself and meandered through the crowd, my spirit hung heavy. In this sea of humans, a small and elderly figure emerged. Wrapped in a tattered ochre shawl and dhoti, and staff in hand he stood before me and gazed deeply into my being. His cataract-clouded eyes held mine for what seemed an eternity. His silence showered tenderness, love and compassion. He whispered, “Dear one, you are fine just as you are.”
In that moment, his simple kindness opened a floodgate of childhood flashbacks, a cascade of tears, and an awareness of memories of feeling profoundly alone. Always during those times, I would seek nature and cry out for comfort and guidance.
I did not make it to the ocean. I sensed the need to remain visible, now in the sea of others. I knew there was nowhere to go, nothing to do but to surrender, accept and love thy Self. It was in that moment of pristine clarity that the awareness in those darkest of times there is always a presence, an all loving Mother, the Mahashakti. I had come home.
I never saw the elder man before nor again, however, he remains in my heart.
Amrita Yoga: What prompted you to be trained as an Amrita Yoga teacher?
While it was an honor to be considered to be an Amrita Yoga teacher, I honestly had no desire to teach. My resolve was simply to deepen into awareness. I also had absolute trust that Amma knows one’s Dharmic path.
I read and was inspired by Amma’s description of the true meaning of the ancient practice of Yoga: “A holistic approach, focused on Awareness with heart-centered intention, aimed to transcend the physical asana. Some say it is the merging of the individual soul with the Supreme Soul. There is another perspective that yoga is not coming together but moving apart. It is moving away from the misconception that we were ever apart from God.”
Amrita Yoga: What is important to you as an Amrita Yoga teacher?
Honoring and practicing with Amma’s intentions:
“Yoga is for our inner well-being. It does not belong to any particular faith or religion passed down to us by the ancient seers for the benefit of all. Be humble and keep the attitude of a beginner until the end of your life. Yoga is the means of awakening the infinite strength within, by training the body, mind, and intellect properly, and of realizing one’s potential.”
Amrita Yoga: What is your experience of Amrita Yoga?
As a beginner teacher, the simple practice of Bala Namaskarah offers a gentle, mindful practice, emphasizing awareness in movement and one’s alignment through the breath, and infused with the mantras “MA OM.”
Having gone through a number of traumatic experiences and having spent years working in a highly stressful environment, yoga provides a way for me to reconnect, to harmonize and heal. Amrita Yoga specifically helps to deepen my awareness and state of being.
Amrita Yoga: What did you find to be unique about Amrita Yoga?
Amma’s direct transmission and presence in the practice. Amma says: “Unlike other physical exercises, yoga asana is practiced slowly, paying attention to breathing. At the same time, one must observe every movement of the body with utmost awareness. In this way, one can make the mind serene and foster the experience of meditative stillness.”
Amrita Yoga: What is your focus as an Amrita Yoga teacher?
To be an instrument of higher purpose.
Amrita Yoga: Why should people learn Amrita Yoga?
- Amrita Yoga offers a series of tools of conscious alignment and movement, rhythmic breathing, and infusion of mantra, all of which provide the potential of total awareness and support a meditative state.
- The principles and practice of Amrita Yoga guide the teacher and practitioner to transform the gross physical asana into a more refined, subtle, and mindful state of awareness, in which prana can flow and one can experience the pure mind-heart, peace, and love.
Amrita Yoga: Who do you think would benefit the most from Amrita Yoga?
While all can benefit from Amrita Yoga, those who suffer from chronic mental, emotional, and physical illness, traumas and life-threatening situations could benefit as the intentions set forth by Amma is to focus on “awakening one’s inner strength and potential.”
Amrita Yoga: Why are you inspired to teach Amrita Yoga and no other styles?
Amrita Yoga is spiritually oriented, heart centered, and uses awareness directed practice. The intention of Amrita yoga is to transcend the physical asana, to go beyond.
Amrita Yoga: How does it work for you to volunteer at Amrita Yoga and not make money teaching yoga somewhere else?
Amma: “Seva is the true worship of God.”
My life mantra has always been “may my human life be meaningful.” Serving others is meaningful, is priceless, is “the way.”
Amrita Yoga is Amma’s sankalpa. Volunteering as an Amrita Yoga teacher is an honor, a blessing and one’s dharma.
Through Amma’s Grace and guidance, seva opportunities have mysteriously appeared over the years. Just weeks after my very first darshan with Amma, I literally “stumbled” upon and landed a dream come true career opportunity at the University of New Mexico, Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NBICU). Since I had no previous experience and there were several more qualified candidates, this was a longshot. While this was a career path, it became for me a meaningful way to help infants and children, which I considered a Seva.
A few years later during a darshan, Amma spontaneouly suggested that I work at AIMS Hospital, Ernakulum, India. I had never discussed with her my specific area of work, nor had ever considered volunteering at AIMS.
The request to teach Amrita Yoga came unexpectedly and seemed the most mysterious and unlikely of all of Amma directed seva’s. I embrace the opportunity as Amma’s sankalpa.
Dear Shobana, it is seven years ago by now that we did the Bala Namaskara with you in Amritapuri. I immediately knew that Amrita yoga would be a solution to overcome my physical problems. You convinced me in your own way to do the surya namaskara every morning. Step by step the situation ameliorated. In 2018 while changing houses and moving my stuf around, a deep pain in my left hip brought me to a complete surrender to Amma. In a dream i saw images of a lifetime ca 800 years ago. Just by re-experiencing that big drama, my anger was solved and so was the pain in my left hip. Some weeks later it was revealed to me that problems with the right hip are caused by fear.
Last time in Amritapuri in 2019 i asked Amma if there was anything i could do for Her. She became radiant, raised Her arms and blessed me: Shivaya Shivaya. Some years in vague confusion would follow, me giving a hand to some troubled people around me. But i new something bigger was to come. Two years ago something happened in my near proximity that touched me so deeply, that I immediately knew: this is IT. Cannot tell much about it, because i want to add an other 25 years to my life. But now, in the end i can do something in which i have to use all my knowledge and experience assembled during a lifetime as a lawyer, counselor in public affairs and manager of complex computer projects.
Some weeks ago i left my country in order to hibernate in a warm and sunny climate. Since Amma is always with me, i felt no need to go to India. As usual, i was carrying too much luggage with me and on a certain moment the pain in my spine became unbareble. Before reaching out for pills, i went into deep meditation. Since that moment words of my daily prayer ‘let my actions be an offer at Your Holy feet’ have been sinking in onto another level. The pain in my spine was immediately gone and the resetting of all vertebras started up to the crown chakra. I am sure: some day, my head will be straight above my shoulders :). Looking back my whole life has been intense, full of lessons and deep and high experiences. I realise that the incident as a little girl of about 10 years old in which my T-bone was crashed, was necessary to follow The Path. Without the ever lasting pain and the urge of getting rid of it during this lifetime, I would never have come to this point of surrender to the Divine. As you know well, we westerners are brought up to sort out our own business. Accepting a higher Power beyond the visible is still considered to be highly suspect. Although, since corona more people around me are reaching out to find another way in life and start looking inside. When i tell my friends during two weeks that I cannot go with them for dinner, because i cannot eat, they accept the fact with a smile. They just say to each other: ‘she is slightly spiritual’ without judging. Times are changing 🙂
I offer these words at Amma’s holy lotus feet.