All of us experience struggles in our lives, to a lesser or greater degree. Some of these struggles may be physical: the lack of basic necessities, health problems…or mental: depression, anxiety, difficult relationships…among others. No matter what our struggles we may be, behind them there is a message, an emerging spiritual need that is manifesting to make us understand and learn. We may experience certain pain in order to learn the lessons we need to learn as part of our evolution as individual souls coming from the Divine.
In my case, although I did not lack physical necessities, my life was not exactly easy. I remember myself as always being tormented internally, as having an urgency of something not yet clear and as usually feeling out of place and time. There was a growing desire for “something” inside of me. During some periods of my life, this desire was more intense.
When people asked me: “What do you want to do when you get older?” The answer that came to me invariably was, “Be happy”. Real happiness, coming from within, was something so mysterious for me. I could not see it any further from myself! I did not have any idea where to start in this journey towards happiness…and life went on. Being immersed in the midst of maya (illusion), I guess I missed some opportunities during the way.
Eventually, I had to learn through intense suffering: physical disease, depression, pain…and a profound existential crisis…the so-called “dark night of the soul”. Just in the moment where apparently everything was fine in my outside world, the inner call came again, so loud that this time it was not possible to escape from it! I could not feel more lost or desperate or helpless. From the bottom of a dark and profound well, I cried out loudly for help. After a while, things started to slowly work out; one thing led me to another, until I found myself immersed in the spiritual path. Finally, I came to know Amma.
At the beginning I thought the world was so unjust with me. I did not know whom to blame, so I blamed everybody. After some time, I started to understand many things about my life and the moment came when I took responsibility for it. I realized how suffering had been acting as a real master and had been shifting the direction of my life. Now I know why I felt out of place…because I don’t belong here!
My realm, our realm, is in the Infinite, where we can experience God and become one with Him. My life started to change when I realized this truth and accepted that everything around me is fine and that my place in this world is the best for assuring my soul’s learning process. In this precise moment, I started to LIVE. Not just a grey existence as before, but I began to be aware of my true potential and my link to all beings and to the whole of the creation. I started, for the first time in my life, to feel that I was in my place. Like a train on the railway, I only had to follow the rails before me. It was the end of “the search” and the starting of the “real work”.
Thus, there is a key point in our lives when we stop blaming others for our struggles and we start taking responsibility for our own lives. At that point, we may start to see everything from a new perspective and act accordingly, accepting everything that happens to us as a lesson and non-identifying ourselves from the ego. From that moment on, with the necessary effort and perseverance, we can create the life we really want for ourselves. We are the result of our past deeds and our future depends on what we do in the present.
As Amma says, “We may lose millions of dollars and yet we can recover them. But if we lose a second, we will not recover it!” So…Let’s start now! Let’s make great efforts to achieve greater results. Let’s be conscious, aware, cheerful, and hopeful; this will greatly benefit us. It is important to work hard to cultivate our faith and our devotion; they are precious gifts for our soul. God does not give us greater tasks that the ones we are able to accomplish. Therefore, let’s learn and evolve so that we will not have to experience the same lesions again in future births. Let’s keep God as our clear goal and go for it! “Don’t stop till the goal is reached”.
I would add that we, the devotees, are blessed to be on the spiritual path and to have the guidance of a loving realized master as AMMA and to have all her teachings available to us. It is said that it is extremely difficult to be born not only as a human being, but also as a being with a spiritual inclination and the desire for longing for God in our hearts. May we never forget this and may we always remember how lucky we are to have reached this point. From here, we continue our journey, each of us at our own personal rhythm.
In the end, we are here to renounce our ego and achieve greatness. Let’s accomplish our task, each of us from our own place and situation, whatever it may be, because this is the chosen place for us to grow.
It does not matter if you are married, single or you have renounced the world… Offer everything at the feet of the Divine Mother, and from there, She will give you the necessary strength and will-power to keep moving forward on your quest for God.
You are not alone. We are not alone. We are ONE.
Author: Silvia Hidalgo Daya